Is Self Care Really All About You?

I’m going to open this week with a poem that I’ve loved for many years, titled “Indwelling” by Thomas Edward Brown…

If thou could’st empty all thyself of self,
Like to a shell dishabited,
Then might He find thee on the ocean shelf,
And say, “This is not dead,”
And fill thee with Himself instead.

But thou are all replete with very thou
And hast such shrewd activity,
That when He comes He says, “This is enow
Unto itself – ’twere better let it be,
It is so small and full, there is no room for me.”

I love the sentiment so much. I’m an overthinker, to a fault, and I get swept up into my own riptides of thought so often. This is a great reminder that being full of myself doesn’t leave any room for God, or health, or growth.

Self-care has become part of our mainstream, and between socials and advertisements, product labels and marketing, it’s consistently touted as something that we all need more of. No argument there- we all get so wrapped up in the day’s activities that saving room for ourselves is an afterthought at best. Maybe a haircut or nail appointment, or even a spa day with friends or loved ones, might happen on a regular basis for a select few, but, at least in my circle, self care is severely lacking.

I’ve talked about this before (and then went on my way, leaving myself for last yet again, neglecting the care of my Self once more) but it bears repeating. And I love how contemplating the “Indwelling” meaning brings a different perspective on what Self Care really is all about.

When we are thinking too much about others- what they think of our hair, our clothes, our shape, our nose, or whatever other hang-up we have about ourselves, are we really being ourself? We’re modifying our behavior based upon what we perceive about the external environment. Is that truly who we are? Or even what we WANT to be? Are we happy in these moments?

Or are we most our true selves when we’re spending time doing what we love, losing ourselves in a great activity, or spending time with loved ones, or having a great conversation with an old friend? I think that it’s really when we’re most OUT of our Self that we are truly being who we are.

When we are “replete with very thou,” our spirit suffers. Perhaps, then, self-care is really more about nurturing our spirit, finding our Self and caring for it by allowing ourselves to just BE ourselves. Taking time each day to lose ourselves in something, to “empty all thyself of self,” is so fulfilling. I liken this to my son on a spring day: lately we’ve had some beautifully warm afternoons, where I pick him up from school, he drops off his backpack, and runs into the backyard with wild abandon, conjuring up ideas to celebrate his freedom and release his energy.  

What can you do to let your Spirit run outside and play? How can you empty all thyself, let loose, and give that Spirit some time to run free and fully release?

A great hairstyle, a new outfit that flatters your body, a decadent sweet treat… there are so many ways that society has conditioned us to believe is self care. And, yes, these have a place. But try shifting your focus outside of yourself, and caring for yourself by letting go. Take a walk in nature. Drink in some sunshine. Have a laugh with friends. Take a little longer when you hug your family. Immerse yourself in a hobby that brings you joy.

Let your Spirit soar. Let God find some room in you that He can fill. Experience true, authentic, nourishing Self care and enjoy its benefits.

Blessings,

Melanie

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